Saturday, September 1, 2007


Jacobs was one Jew hating Jew.

Jacobs talked me into pulling a little black girl’s hair when I was in kindergarten, twice. Once the girl succumbed to my manly charms, Jacobs told me to whisper in her ear and call her a nigger. I did. She never talked to me again. Years later I saw her working in a Pizza Hut. She remembered me too. She turned out real pretty.

Jacobs had a little brother with Down’s syndrome. He used to call him Squiggy.

Jacobs’s folks owned an auto supply store. He used to steal money out of the cash register and blame this one guy who had six kids.

Jacobs came over my house. Once. I wasn’t there when he arrived. He sat on the couch and waited for me while my dad watched the evening news. He told me that my father stared at him for a while then turned back and screamed at the TV.

Jacobs tried to drown his retarded brother on more than one occasion.

Jacobs was obsessed with Nazis and said that he wished he could have been one. That, and a Roman.

Jacobs skin is pocked and he’s 100 pounds overweight.

Jacobs loved making fun of this one Jewish boy named David. He told me that David’s real name was Sandy and that Sandy wanted to fuck me. I once went over David’s house after school and he tried to fuck me.

Jacobs turned out to be a real speed freak.

Jacobs once told me that there was nothing worse than a Kike on crank.

Jacobs had a secret meth lab out in the desert.

Jacobs once tried to masturbate my German Shepard.

Jacobs told me that I would grow up and marry Donnie Osmond.

Jacobs made fun of his mother when she had to have a hysterectomy.

Jacobs got this black girl named Mollie pregnant when she was 14 and said it wasn’t his.

Jacobs was in the local newspaper for beating up faggots in Herald Park.

Jacobs accidentally shot himself in the right shoulder.

Jacobs hogged the dope.

Jacobs tried to kiss my youngest sister and she said it literally made her vomit.

Jacobs got busted for cooking dope on the same day his lab went up in flames.

Jacobs little brother, the mongoloid, died when he was 42.

Jacobs shacks up with a girl out in nigger town named mayphell. She is black, 18 years younger than him, and cannot have kids.

Jacobs is a chain smoker and coughs up blood all the time. When this happens, he throws his arms into the air and screams, “my people are the chosen ones!”

Jacobs hates everyone and everything.


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